♥IM SORRY TE♥

          Being in my position is not that easy, when i was only 9 i already encountered lots of problems, not just a simple problem but a very serious one. i really don't have someone to talk to and lean on. we were in Cavite that time and we don't have relatives near us coz they were in Ozamis City and Iligan. when we moved to Davao, i felt the value of family, i meet my cousins, spent time and hang out with them but being new to that environment, nanibago talaga ako as well as my cousines. i really can't please them (kasi nga raw, di nila ako masakyan, di nila masakyan ang ugaling Cavite, i'm wondering lang what's the difference?) hayy, but i didn't mind that thing, coz mga bata pa kami nun i was just considering it as a childish act. but as years had passed, naging grabe na, it seems my cousins (not all) really can't accept my situation. they don't want to mingle with me coz nga sa problem ko. i felt really dissapointed, kapamilya mong tinuring irereject kalang. it really hurts, but i just keep on believing that their reasons of doing that thing--avoiding being with me, is beacause they don't want to get involve with this problem pero diba as a family, you have to help one another? :( i'm really sad because i felt alone in times i need someone to talk to and a shoulder to cry on (funny to hear from a guy like me, but i do express my hatreds and bad feeling through crying coz it gives me a relief though not a total relief but atleast nababawasan). at the time when ang problema ay sunod-sunod na nagsusulputan, i thoght i was really alone, i thought i will face it on my own but ate is there. at first i am hesitant about her offer to be with me at that time that i'm really down and depress. i was kinda shocked coz for the first time a cousin offer a help and comfort me. i thought she's like the others. as time goes by, we're getting close.. we spend time together as if we're bro and sis.. we knew each other. i made this blog not just to tell the story of my life but to tell you all guys who's reading this now that i am very thankful and very happy to have a cousin like her.... i also want to apologize because i really really really really hurt her... i acted so rude and even told her bad words i really didn't mean it te, nabigla lang talaga ako... i really was dpress and sad that time beacause...u know na... but te... I'M REALLY REALLY REALLY SORRY... i love you te.... :)  i know this is not enough but one day you'll be surprise.. i will do things that you won't expect me to do just for you so that you'll forgive me.. im sorry and i love you te..

♥

This would be the time to say goodbye... :'( IT REALLY HURTS!!! i know what can make her happy... i have to do this because i really LOVE her!! 

Her Smile is the most beautiful one!! :D looking at this pictures  really gives me wonderful feeling... it seems my day's complete.. never have to worry.. SMILE PALANG NIYA, MASAYA NA AKO.. though hanggang tingin nalang ako :'( it seems she's putting a space between us... I know it's also because of what i did.. IM SORRY MELISSA :(

          It's really hard to hold on to the feelings that you have always held. To treat someone as ordinary, when in fact very special. To keep calm, though you're obviously jealous. To move on your own with an empty and totally wounded heart. To smile even in deep pain. To let go the person you dream forever with. To accept reality of being just friends and to give up everything... though inside you still wanna try.. :'(

what matters most is her happiness....

:) this is cute...

the hands... :( it really can't escape.. my eyes are not that blurred to see that..

but this... 

if this can make her happy i'm happy too... CONGRATULATIONS...

the REALITY [ i have to accept it :'( ]

ME

+

YOU

=

NEVER :'(

I LOVE YOU....GOODBYE

      Everytime I think of you, I feel this unexplainable feelings. It seems that the clock stops ticking and its hands are not rotating… funny it is but I really was telling the truth.!!! <3 but…(there is a but) the girl I was talking about doesn’t feel the same way too.. :’( how sad.. but I accept that fact… she had someone in her heart right now (obviously it’s not me) I don’t really know what’s his name and I don’t even have the plan to ask someone to tell me his name… I might get hurt!! But I love it… I just don’t know why?!!! Am I just so martyr??? Can someone give me some advice???  She really makes my world go round, spin it shake it and decorate it put a rainbow on it.. oh my dear sweet angel!!!... how can I stop this feeling? I want to stop loving you so that I will not  get hurt anymore but the more I ignore and stop this feelings, the more it grows… to the extent that I’m already missing you and acted so crazy and rude.. tommorow morning, we’ll be going back to cavite because of my mom’s situation… I love to stay here in mindanao because my dear sweet angel is here, but  I can’t really dare to be far to my family becaause they’re all I have and besides, i have no reason(anymore) stay longer here :(.. hahay… I’m leaving mindanao… I’m far apart from melissa’s reach… is this a goodbye? Oh I don’t want to think this way. I’m really expecting much from her, I’m really expecting that we would be together (someday)… I have to accept the fact that ME + MELISSA = NEVER!!! Typing this words really hurt my feelings… it really break my heart! I love her… I really do… I don’t care what others would say but I’m really feeling this way.. who the hell cares?!!! I really love her I really do!! I love her… oh this words are so sweet… when would be the time that I will hear this from her mouth? Saying those words with all her heart.. i love her but I guess this is the time to end this… :’( this really hurt… but I have to… I don’t want to bother her anymore… if that guy can make her happy then I’d be happy too… even if my heart is bleeding… goodbye mindanao… goodbye melissa…. Saying this is so ouchiee (as my cousin would say as a new term for hurt)… it seems someone is pulling my heart outside my chest… put it in a blending machine and blend it… this really hurts melissa my dear… I do love you but I think you’re happy with him right now.. I hope he won’t hurt you.. be happy mel, I will never forget you… I will not stop loving you… (now crying) you will always be my melissa… though I don’t have the right to call you my/mine… I love you… and this feeling will never ever change… :’( 

      Everytime I think of you, I feel this unexplainable feelings. It seems that the clock stops ticking and its hands are not rotating… funny it is but I really was telling the truth.!!! <3 but…(there is a but) the girl I was talking about doesn’t feel the same way too.. :’( how sad.. but I accept that fact… she had someone in her heart right now (obviously it’s not me) I don’t really know what’s his name and I don’t even have the plan to ask someone to tell me his name… I might get hurt!! But I love it… I just don’t know why?!!! Am I just so martyr??? Can someone give me some advice???  She really makes my world go round, spin it shake it and decorate it put a rainbow on it.. oh my dear sweet angel!!!... how can I stop this feeling? I want to stop loving you so that I will not  get hurt anymore but the more I ignore and stop this feelings, the more it grows… to the extent that I’m already missing you and acted so crazy and rude.. tommorow morning, we’ll be going back to cavite because of my mom’s situation… I love to stay here in mindanao because my dear sweet angel is here, but  I can’t really dare to be far to my family becaause they’re all I have and besides, i have no reason(anymore) stay longer here :(.. hahay… I’m leaving mindanao… I’m far apart from melissa’s reach… is this a goodbye? Oh I don’t want to think this way. I’m really expecting much from her, I’m really expecting that we would be together (someday)… I have to accept the fact that ME + MELISSA = NEVER!!! Typing this words really hurt my feelings… it really break my heart! I love her… I really do… I don’t care what others would say but I’m really feeling this way.. who the hell cares?!!! I really love her I really do!! I love her… oh this words are so sweet… when would be the time that I will hear this from her mouth? Saying those words with all her heart.. i love her but I guess this is the time to end this… :’( this really hurt… but I have to… I don’t want to bother her anymore… if that guy can make her happy then I’d be happy too… even if my heart is bleeding… goodbye mindanao… goodbye melissa…. Saying this is so ouchiee (as my cousin would say as a new term for hurt)… it seems someone is pulling my heart outside my chest… put it in a blending machine and blend it… this really hurts melissa my dear… I do love you but I think you’re happy with him right now.. I hope he won’t hurt you.. be happy mel, I will never forget you… I will not stop loving you… (now crying) you will always be my melissa… though I don’t have the right to call you my/mine… I love you… and this feeling will never ever change… :’( 

my day....my melissa

          Today seems the very tiring day of my week.. hayy i just got home from my mom's house. i left my cousin's place without even telling her that i'm going to leave today and go back to davao!! hahaii i'm so tired of going from one place to another. am i just escaping the problems that is needed to be faced? i'm so tired of thinking those problems.. and i'm so tired of thinking about her. my dear melissa! i've been thinking of you all day, all night, everyday.. even though this sound sooooo ridiculous but this is the truth. when are you going to recognize this feelings of mine? i'm waiting and will be waiting till the day you say that you are already ready.. even if it really hurts to read those blogs that you made, i still have this little hope in me that someday, you'll gonna feel the same way for me too. i'm really looking forward to meet you and chat with you know you more and i also hope that when that day comes, you'll never regret. i accept that i couldn't be like him, the man you really adore/love. but if you really insist that our treatment for each other is just bro and sis or just friends, i will accept it. though it will really really really really hurt me!! oh my dear MELISSA how can i control this feelings... you decorated my life... <3

=== unknown ===

         i actually don't know where to start and what to type first.... but i just want to express this ouch feeling inside me.. i know that the gap or the spaces between us is immeasurable!! even though i did't even meet or see her in person, i already can conclude that this feeling's true.. (u know already what i mean)this isn't so easy for me.. i tried to take away this feeling inside and within me but the more i ignore this... this feeling just seems to grow and grow!! i already miss her even if it sounds awkward.

         she's one of a kind!!! thanks to my cousin who introduced her to me... hahaha this sound funny but i swear it's true! i'm not looking at her physical features but i'm into her attitude (batasan gud) even if i'm not sure if what i think of what she really was/is.. is true.. but i can say she's perfect.. aaahhhh!! i don't know what i'm saying or typing at this time.. all i know is she's the only one who runs in my mind at this time.. i'm so tired of thinking about her... so tired of hoping that maybe one of this days, we will meet and will have the time to know each other... (I LOVE HER)